Calling 911, go figure ?

Attempting to make sense out of horrible tragedies is nigh unto impossible for me. It’s hard to trust when  you see so much destruction and pain around you.

Never Forget 9-11
New York Had Her Heart Broke !

Just thinking on September 11th, 911,  sends me into a rage on the inside, anger to the MAX! I want to destroy this whole world, and then I realize, again, the true problem, the ROOT of all evils that old C word, that word almost no one remembers anymore, it has become outdated, that’s right, you know it, it’s:
– COVETEOUSNESS – mixed with selfishness, anger, contempt, hatred,  and shaken together with a little more greed. It’s a F#@$cking mind eraser cocktail for the ego, that’s what it is. It is the state of I, Me, Mine . . . It’s all mine, ALL OF IT, and you can’t have it, and I won’t share it, to hell with you, in fact, I don’t need you, you don’t think like me, you don’t look like me, you don’t act like me, you don’t learn like me, you aren’t good enough to join me, hell, let’s just  kill em’ all! I’ll rule, I’ll show them how it is done, and if you don’t like it you can piss off. If you piss me off I WILL destroy you and all the other infidels. This, friends,  is all inside of me and inside of you, whether you admit it or not it is there, ALL OF IT, and it is you who makes the choices, the choice who’s in and who’s out etc. etc..

Imagine?     IMAGINE!   Imagine?     IMAGINE!   Imagine?     IMAGINE!

We are one race, the human race, we are the family of man, everything we say and do we do to our own selves, from first to last. Who can explain the evil or the good that lurks in the hearts of men? I cannot begin to fathom, or understand why we hurt one another so purposefully, so often, I never have, and never will. It makes no sense to me whatsoever.

We are filled and full of both the evil and the good for God is all in all, and we seem to live and to move somewhere in between the two. Why choose destruction, murder, thievery?  It wrenches my guts and twists them into intricate knots. 

I am of the believe that it doesn’t matter your status, your race/color of skin, your language, your tribe or nation, not even what religion you practice, the kingdom is within, peace starts from within, and we choose which we will serve – we chose whether we walk in darkness, in light or the grey in between. Love your enemies?  Why? Becuase when every person on the planet does the wars will stop, the famine will stop, poverty will end, heaven will begin. As in heaven so on earth, as above, so below.

Love your enemy doesn’t just mean those who mistreat you or hurt you or try to destroy you. It also means start by loving the enemy in you, that one that tells you-you need to have more to be happy, more money, more things, and on and on. LIES all lies. The enemy that says, everyone has to agree and think like me to make the world perfect. The one that says- you’ll never make it, your doomed you might as well give up. Oh, you are worth so much more than they are. Oh you are not worthy to even walk in their shadow.  There is us and there is them, you don’t want to love them or help them or be like “them” THESE ARE ALL LIES the enemy in you tries to send like a flood to bury your kindness and love, Deceptions.  Choose forgiveness, choose loving thoughts of good, altruistic actions, thoughts of healing, light, and life!  It is not easy but it is the right thing to do. Know the I AM. Know Thyself.


{[Here is another Sandi Thom – Benson, song for your LISTENING pleasure:
the Devil’s beat.  600x600bb     This girl knows something most of us don’t  whether it is on a conscious level or not, it is there, and it’s the biggest secret ever kept in broad daylight.

It’s all Adam and Eve followed by Cain and Able , Moses and Pharoh, Israel and the Profits, Born from above, Paul to Saul, beginning to end, Genesis (great band  . . . lol)  to Revelation, Old Testament to New Testament beginning again,  the word of God, is the story of us all, our minds, our thinking, allegory for living life in the valley of the shadow of death, the world of Ceasar. The was is not outside you, it’s in your mind!!  All the power is in your imagination, for with God nothing shall be impossible. Where is it that you can do anything? Your imagination.  Your spirit, your breath and body make you an incarnate soul. In your patience , you possess your soul. That is to say, take control of your thoughts and actions, rule over your body and your mind. Imagination and choice give you the power to rule your mind and body, these are your world. It is finished, you have everything you need and are free to choose. The only control we have is over our own mind and bodies. Be still and realize this, listen for that still small voice, we all have it for G*d’s laws are written on our hearts.

You are still listening, yes?   I’m so thankful you are still here, reading.

Question for today:  Does it matter whether the Bible is “real” and a true account of  things that literally happened on a timeline, or “imaginary”, allegorical stories and personifications of our lives ?

Don’t both sides have the very same
point to the story?

U Awake?
Truthfully, I’m not sure how this all works 🙂

Which is more important being kind or being right?

Thank you for your time and attention. <place a big long as you like hug right here>  Hear this and understand::

From the first Adam to the last Adam, we are one race, the human race, we are the family of man, everything we say and do; we say and do to our own selves, from first to last, from the greatest to the least.

If you knew that everyone was your brother,  Would you choose to destroy him?

Well, you can, if you want to. You can jail him, you can build walls to keep him out, you can obliterate him, kill and destroy him, or,
OR,  If you knew that everyone was your brother, would you choose to party with him? work with him?  Would you honor, accept and love him just as he is. Remember that he is worth dying for. If G*d does not force you to conform to his will. What makes you think you can force another to conform to your will?

Know and understand, you are looking into a mirror; you are he and he is you.

It’s the looking glass. It’s the land of Oz. Which reality is real? and which would I rather have, my consciousness, or God consciousness? and if I have god consciousness and I am like god, if I am a god, or even just made in God’s likeness and image, then which kingdom am I sovereign over? The world outside, or the world inside?

Often, and as of late more often, I find myself in different worlds. I’m on the outside looking down, and the inside looking out at the same time. It’s sounds schizo, I know, but it’s not like that at all. It’s more like reasoning with myself in the mirror.

I am a pacifist who has to pacify herself every single day by bringing her evil under subjection by choosing good, service to the true and living God in me.  Because were I to serve myself I’d end up a danger to myself and others.

I am convinced that the world has it backward,  and any and ll change is an inside job. The true kingdom is on the inside. The kingdom is not of this world.
My maker is my dreamer, I saw the dreamer and I knew he was dreaming me.

We need to marry the inside and the outside together and make them one heart.
Accept ourselves as we (a work in progress) are and choose loyalty, faithfulness, honor to the good. God is love.  We need to vow love, honor, accept, and pardon & release to all within and without, and do our very best to unite, support and build one another.

What is the commandment? Love G*d and Love one another as you love yourself.   BE the change you want to SEE start with the Man in the Mirror.

We need to accept the good with the bad, not try to eliminate or destroy the bad. So long as the light shines, darkness can not enter. We all need to look within.
Within us is the choice of all things kindness or contempt. You can have and do anything you want. Whether we steal or whether we give we have the capacity for both. Without the “bad”,  would be good?  But, and, if all were good, would there be any bad? It is all up to you (&me), ALL of IT. and, and it is a co-operation, really it is a beautiful dance filled with drama, a whole romance from beginning to end with all of its ups and downs. It’s like lovemaking, which, now admit it, lovemaking is not without a little necessary roughness now and then, am I right?  Nah? Don’t worry about it.

It’s like birthing a baby a little pleasure, a little time for it to grow, a lot of pain and a lot of joy and love, a love that outlasts (or ought to last IMO) all the bad and all the mistakes, forever.

You and I, people, we are free moral agents, agreed?

Therefore, we are fully responsible for our own choices, PERIOD.
It is finished, I will not, I can not be responsible for your choices nor can you be responsible for mine.  We reap what we sow.


I choose love, and light, manna from heaven, I will rule me and that is all, I decide on the inside. My choices decide my borders. This is not to say that my borders can not be crossed, they can and if you live long enough they will (that’s for another time). I’m not saying that I am perfect, or have all the answers, that I won’t sin or miss the mark or make mistakes. This I do daily. But that doesn’t mean that I am going to give up trying.




Just one more song before I go: 
  Give a good listen to the words of this song; Flesh and Blood again (hard to believe it’s been 4 years), by Sandi Thom.
splash-page-separator_________MAN-O-CHEVIOTS I JUST WANT TO. . . .  rant and rave !

Never forget 9-11-01  NEVER forget the holocaust, NEVER forget always be on guard against the enemy, bring yourself under subjection and rule from within, rule your mind, rule your world, lay your life down and you will live, each and every one of you. The Kingdom is within.
THANK GOD FOR  Sandi Thom.

~BIG LOVE lil’ gini
PS – Don’t feed the monsters!



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lil' gini

Hi it's Me, I am 50 ish and I'm just beginning my journey with journaling. This blog will essentially a starting point to journal my journey here on this side of eternity. When I figure out how to configure this thingy called a blog, which really, I have a very vague definition of circling in my brain. My journaling for my autobiography from this new beginning forward will have begun :) Till then, please stick around. Any and all feedback along with helpful tips, tricks and advice are welcome. Hey! It's a start!!! Yeah? Never, never, never give up!