Brilliant !

This is so very brilliant that I had to share

William Blake writing to the “reader” of his poem Jerusalem says:

The Spirit of Jesus is continual forgiveness of Sin: he who
waits to be righteous before he enters into the Saviours kingdom,
the Divine Body; will never enter there. I am perhaps the most
sinful of men! I pretend not to holiness! yet I pretend to love,
to see, to converse with daily, as man with man, & the more to
have an interest in the Friend of Sinners. Therefore
[Dear] Reader, [forgive] what you do not
approve, & [love] me for this energetic exertion of my
talent.

http://www.public-library.uk/ebooks/15/32.pdf

Think about it,
The Spirit of Jesus is the continual forgiveness of sin; 
Therefore, forgive what you do not approve and love me.

MAGNIFICENT!!!

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Imagine

When is the last time you used your imagination?

Just imagine, try it. smell it, taste it, feel it,
taste a lemon or chocolate.

See yourself taking a nice bath or shower.
Imagine your best friend and just hanging out with them . . .

How’d that make you feel?

JESUS   –
Jesus,  people were either praising Jesus or trying to kill Jesus, they still are, every day.

It is written:
For this reason, therefore, the Jews were seeking all the more to kill Him, because He not only was breaking the Sabbath but also was calling God His own Father, making Himself equal with God. John 5 – 18:18

Are we not the very same with one another? Are we not the very same within our own selves?  Imagine being equal with God. How would you use such a power? To what end? How would you walk? talk? and conduct yourself toward your fellow man?
fear-not-for-i-am-with-you-be-not-dismayed-for-i-amd-your-god-i-will-strengthen-you-yes-i-will-help-you
THE BATTLE
This I have in the past learned the hard way.

My heart has been aching for years and years now. Finally, I am on the mend, truly I am.

All too literally,  I have put my heart in another man’s hands.  I’ve had enough heart surgery on the outside for three people at least. Now, it’s time for surgery on the inside.  My chest has been sawed in two and wired back together, heart has been stopped and started, it’s arteries blockages have been spliced, and rearranged to assist with the flow of life.

This I have learned the hard way. Our weapons for winning the war on fear and doubt are within us. Everything we need is within. Christ the hope of glory is within you! Christ in you is so close that you can not nor will you ever be separate.

Watch what conversations, judgments, loving and unloving thoughts you dwell on.
Take time to think about what you are thinking about.

Hmmmm, What are you thinking about when you are not thinking about what you think about? ? ?

Truly God is One and All in All –  Love and wisdom, faith, grace, and truth, forgiveness and all good things or doubt and fear, pride and greed, it is all inside of you, every last jot and tittle. We are held accountable for every imagination of our hearts.  The most power, the greatest responsibility we will ever have is the power to choose.   Choose wisely, choose nobly, choose lovingly.

Like tiny seeds, your inward imaginations are the seeds and fruit of your heart and they will yield fruit after their own kind. Reaping a harvest of what you have sown in the garden of your mind. We all reap what we sow, it is the law of an identical harvest, and that law will never pass away.     Look within and monitor your thoughts and inner conversations.  Speak to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs making melody in your heart to the LORD, to whom you belong. Be thankful.

Change the inside, and you will witness that change on the outside.

But . . . you knew that. Be encouraged in the knowledge that “God” is for you and not against you. All good things are given richly to be enjoyed.

BIG LOVE,
lil’ gini

 

Poem for Today

Colorful-Swirling-Vortex-8.png

Doesn’t Mean Anything

And it doesn’t mean anything
Hear children, what you hear
I sit and hear the fan whirling
The narrator narrating
The birds in the trees
Brings me to my knees
And it doesn’t mean anything
These are but echoes of things that have been
I’ve been here
I’ve been there
I’ve been just about everywhere
And it doesn’t mean anything
I feel cold
I feel warm
My heart beats on
The days grow long
And the earth still turns just the same
And really, really,
It doesn’t mean anything
Light, Love, and Life goes on and on
Darkness, chaos, death,  shadows
Of what has been, it was, it is, it comes to pass.

What will be, well . . .

That’s up to you?

Us?

Them?

Oh wait! That’s me.

And it doesn’t mean anything . . .

?

 

Quit Yer Bitchin’ – Mental Diets 1.1

Consciousness

I was just standing quietly on the porch thinking when I decided to roam around the grounds making myself at home.  Having a conversation with myself, you know, thinking.

I was cogitating on the Oneness of the All in All, Above all, in all and through all. And how true it is that everyone you meet has the same breath, the same light that lights every man. When I came around the corner and saw a neighbor doing, far as I can tell,   the same thing.

We had the most lovely conversation, we laughed and laughed enjoying things we had in common. Made my day.  We said goodbye and I went up the stairs and stood for a few more minutes just noticing and being thankful.

That right there my friends, was a good glimpse of glory, and I appreciate it. I’d like to do that more and more.

While standing on the stairs I was moved by some train of thought that got me off track brought me down a little. The thinking that stopped me was Noticing how much people complain, and how much you and I complain. Complaints depreciate gratitude. Well, grace abounds and gratitude always appreciates. I don’t like depreciating or complaining. I’m going to give it my best to stop complaining inside and out. Starting while it’s still today.

People just love to complain, we are always seeking comfort while remaining uncomfortable with where we are. Tell me, please, how can we be comfortable, if we complain about being uncomfortable with where we are at? Just think about it.

Very sad.

Along with all that complaining comes the control issues:
Control issues?     I once had someone tell me not to breathe a certain way because they found it annoying. Like I was doing it on purpose to annoy them. I’ve been doing my best to imagine them content, and happy – for that is all I truly wish to be. Yet I fall short …
But, this is for another blog, another day.

____________________________________

As within – So without

Full responsibility !! – nothing outside yourself/myself is responsible for your world, for the “without” is a reflection of the “within”.  We choose our thoughts, our imaginations they are the seeds we plant in the garden of our minds and what we plant grows and blooms unless we weed it out.  We have the choice of controlling our thoughts and guiding them in love and kindness, gentleness, joyfulness, patience, peacefulness in all we know to be good in life, or we can let our imaginations run wild, thereby reflecting chaos, malice, strife, hatred, envy, division, murders, wars, destruction.

http://biblehub.com/luke/17-21.htm
21 They can’t say, ‘Here it is!’ or ‘There it is!’ You see, the kingdom of God is within you.”

Now in all this I am still just a child, learning, growing,
Simple, but not necessarily easy it takes practice, patience, and faith most of all.

Freinds, I beg you, choose your thoughts wisely, choose the noble, choose love, choose life.

BIG LOVE
‘lil gini

____________________________________________________
Related Song for those who love poetry and song:

https://youtu.be/fs0g6yL6kDc

Paula Cole – ME
“Me”
I am not the person who is singing,
I am the silent one inside.
I am not the one who laughs at people’s jokes,
I just pacify their egos.
I am not my house, my car or my songs,
They are only stops along my way.
I am like the winter, I’m a dark cold female,
With a golden ring of wisdom in my cave.

And it’s me who is my enemy
Me who beats me up
Me who makes the monsters
Me who strips my confidence

I am carrying my voice
I am carrying a heart.
I am carrying the rhythm
I am carrying my prayers, but you can kill my spirit, it’s old and it is strong,
And like a mountain, I’ll go on and on.
But when my wings are folded,
The brightly colored moth blends into the dirt into the ground

And it’s me who is my enemy.
Me who beats me up.
Me who makes the monsters.
Me who strips my confidence.
And it’s me who’s too weak,
And it’s me who’s too shy to ask for the thing I love.
And it’s me who’s too weak,
And it’s me who’s too shy to ask for the thing I love.
But I love

I am walking on the bridge,
I am over the water,
And I’m scared as hell
But I know there’s something better. Yes, I know there’s something better,
(Yes I know, yes I know, yes I know, yes I know)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Me_(Paula_Cole_song)

Lessons from Mom

My mother was a very intelligent, hard working, fun loving and wise woman.
She was not a religious person, she didn’t have a Phd., in Philosophy, or medicine. But I can tell you of a truth she was authentic and the words of wisdom she shared keep me going on many a trying occasion.

sunrise-over-the-earth

When I was a child, I was afraid of the darkness and to this day I prefer to remain in light.  I can say with conviction that I am no longer afraid to sit in the dark. And now I realize what mom said to me as a child was so very true.

With great conviction, and in that tone that gets your full attention, she would say,
“Virginia!, there is nothing in the darkness that is not there in the light. It is just that you can not see it (until the light shines).”

Truth is authenticity on every level, it is light. Let your light so shine before men . . .

God is One.  Live in love.

BIG LOVE
lil’ gini.

Trauma, Trauma, Trauma

Everyone knows trauma. And if you don’t, you will at some point along this journey we call life. Not one person is immune, we will all go through the fires of affliction.

But, what to do with those experiences? Now, there’s the question.

We can use them to justify our attitudes, or complain, and whine remaining miserable,  or we can choose to overcome and thereby grow stronger, wiser, and more at ease within.

I used to think I was nigh unto invincible. Most days I felt I could take on anything and conquer, coming out triumphant and ready to battle again. Then life changed dramatically.

In a three to five-year span (2005-2008, 09, 10) I went through a whirlwind of some pretty heavy dark night of the soul experiences.

There were more than one loved one’s big illness, a career killer, job layoffs, the suicide attempt of a loved one, an unprecedented court case, a graduation, some empty nest stuff, bankruptcy, divorce, homelessness, hmmmm and a few other “big item” stressors.

The first three years culminated in an event that knocked me for a loop, for a long time. It was in June of 2007, I survived CABG surgery. All this pain and turmoil  changed my life, no doubt.

Did it change it for the better?

Would I do it again?

After 10-years, I still can’t answer that question fully. I do know that through those experiences I have grown and today, though I may not be rich by this world’s standards, I am stronger, and happier, living with more purpose and resolve than ever before. I truly appreciate being alive and I am making my own way, gradually in the most loving way I know how.

The big deal: CABG stands for Coronary Artery Bypass Surgery.

A description from John Hopkins

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It’s pretty intense, they put you under anesthesia and open you up with a little jig saw (okay, so I’m not sure what the buzzsaw is called but I’m pretty sure it would do a nice jigsaw job on wood) , crank open your the rib cage, stop your heart ,inserting tubes and wires to keep you alive and direct  blood flow through  what is essentially an artificial heart; a big machine with tubes, pumps etc. that keeps your blood circulating while they graft veins from your leg or wrist around the blockages. Amazing modern miracle surgery.

This is taking me some effort to write. At this point, it’s all rather vague and like a bad dream,  I still don’t like to talk about it.

At any rate, just prior to the surgery I felt time slow down, it kept getting slower and slower, I felt weaker and weaker and I went to the emergency room complaining of chest pain. They ran tests, and I had a catheterization.  They said my veins/arteries were too small to place a stent. They changed my meds and said the usual things they say to patients;  less stress, more exercise, blah, blah, blah.

 

That’s right, blah, blah, blah.

Don’t get me wrong I am eternally grateful for the physicians, the surgeons, the nurses and everyone who were  dedicated and assisted me during this time. They are an amazing poeple.

The time warp continued and one day about six weeks later I said to my partner at the time, I have to go to the hospital.  I could not explain it but I just knew something was terribly wrong and I wouldn’t be around much longer if I didn’t do something immediately.

After arriving at the ER they put me on a treadmill. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t walk on the treadmill, I tried but I wasn’t on it two minutes before I had to stop.  They came back and said we are taking you to surgery if you agree, sign here.

I did not hesitate to sign.

The next thing I knew I woke in the recovery room. Upon waking all I could do was cry, cry in repentance, crying out asking what did I do that all this had come upon me and I found myself there, under bright lights, with all these tubes and wires and odd noises and people, poking at me.

They got me up and into a chair very quickly.

Post-op depression set in immediately.

I felt violated, vulnerable and victimized. I was a  angry that I even survived. My body and spirit were crushed. At the tender age of 42, I had no clue how I would come back from all this.

I’ve come a long way since that day, both physically and psychologically. The journey has been a curious one.  More on that later . . .

As I said before, I was in such a dark place in my being. I would not wish this place on my worst enemy. My attitude was horrible. Sure I would die at any moment, I was lost, I was without hope, I was empty, crushed to an infinite number of pieces, just this side of powder.  My mother, who passed away in October of 2009, said to
me at some point, Ginny, what has happened to you, “where is your spunk?” you are not the same. She was spot on, and I didn’t want to live anymore. What on earth could I possibly be good for after this?? How can I  come back?  I was pretty sure I wouldn’t make it. Yet, here I am and how life has changed.

To Be Continued . . . .

Know this, it is not the length of time that it takes you to recover for everyone heals in their own way at their own pace. It’s the resolve to never give up, no matter the obstacles placed in your way, know that it is temporary and they came to pass, They will pass away.  Be tenacious in allowing, accepting, honoring, and letting go.

BIG LOVE
lil’gini