Soundtrack (listening to):
Lisa Lobe – Stay
A. Morrisette – Ironic
4 non-blondes – What’s up?
Nelly Furtado – I’m Like a Bird
The following is an open letter and a personal letter to my loved ones, friends, both past present, and future.
There is so very much I would like to say that this could be a Tolstoy novel. You know, War and Peace? I will try my best to condense what is currently in my heart.
Every person born into this world is filled with both good and evil, love and hate, right and wrong on the inside all who have reached the age of accountability are aware of this.
Blame never solves anything, oh, it may make us feel better for the moment but ultimately it doesn’t help anything. Forgiveness, and personal responsibility followed by choice, and action do make for change. I know this, and I am doing my best to put it into practice.
Inside there is everything we need to be complete, yet on the outside, we can only work with what we have at hand and imagine for the better.
That being said, I am truly sorrowful today. I hate to be in and to see you in misery. I am sorry. My heart and head hurt, because I hurt you, even if it was unintentional. I never want to hurt another. You are precious and I’d give you the world were it mine.
I would like you to understand that It is never my intention to hurt, insult, belittle or take advantage of you. I mean no harm. I do give all, I am open to you and here for you with all that is within me. What I can not do is choose for you. Choice, even down to every thought we think is ours alone to make. My sky is torn today, my heart aches. I am truly sorry for your pain and anger. I care deeply. If I could give you only and all the goodness and graceful thoughts that exist I would certainly do so. With gladness, I would hold you in safe keeping for eternity.
How? tell me please, how do I show my appreciations for you allowing me to be a part of your life? How can I communicate to you that I love you? I care and will do anything for you, I give to you all that I am without expecting anything in return if you would only ask (A. ask, S. seek, K. knock). All you need to do is ask. I am grateful, though I may/can not know how to show it to you. It is up to you to show me how I can do that. All you need to do is ask.
If I complain about, take advantage of, or inconvenience you please forgive me. I am still human and struggle with all of the same feelings and thoughts that every person alive on this earth does. I am doing the best I can given what I have at hand, whether or not anyone acknowledges it, or thinks otherwise. If it is your desire, I would go dirty, cold and hungry before I use you unjustly. Believe that you may call on me anytime and with all I have and all I am I will comfort you, I will give all for you. I am dignified. I am humbled by you. I am all that I am and I would give all for you if you ask me to.
Need clarity of intention? Ask
Need money? Ask
Need companionship? Ask
Need wisdom? Ask
Need Truth? Need an ear, arm, shoulder?
Wake me up anytime, day or night and I will sit with you. I will not leave you alone unless; unless that is your desire.
All I have is yours if you will seek me out. If I don’t have the thing, the wisdom or the answer you are looking for I will help in your search the best way I know how.
It is ALL up to you. Choose as you will. Choose to be angry? you are allowed to be angry. Go for it. Choose to be disheartened, or wholehearted, choose hate, choose murder if you so desire, go ahead and cut me off, kill me. Although, I pray that you will choose life, and love, mercy and grace, peace and truth, but whatever your choice I will not condemn you and I will not abandon you, for you have had enough of that and you do enough of that for yourself.
I give myself to you. Everything I have is yours all you need to do is ask.
This ONE thing I ask of you. Please, if you can find it in your heart forgive. Forgive me, forgive yourself, and know that I AM for you. I am not against you. If I could choose friendship, loyalty, laughter, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, understanding, riches, fame goodness, truth and every good thing for you I most certainly would, and do.
But those choices are not mine to make for you, I can not be responsible for your thoughts, feelings, or actions.Only you and I can make that choice.
Every waking moment, until the time we are taken from this earth we choose.
I am aware, I am here. You matter to me and I love you.
PS- the impetus for this post was most disturbing, and painful for me personally, no buts about it, it’s all true.
PSS – I’m still searching for a good proofreader. Want to help?
In the music of life, there is major and minor. They are different yet equal. That is, one or the other is usually dominant. The major is in no way above the minor, though it may seem so at times. The minor is not below the major, although it may seem that way sometimes. The major and minor are mixed and mingled in dissonance and harmony. You can not have one without the other and be rich with life’s journey. This is why I am studying, learning, and sharing Jazz music.
If you’ve read my blog you know that I have recently begun a love affair with music. I am taking a whole new approach to learning it. I want it all, I want that which is called music. Most especially Jazz.
Having said that, I always try to remember that the LORD (choose your own ism
– I give up on isms) is my shepherd and I shall NOT WANT. Therefore, I am aware and I am a musician. If it takes me eternity I will, with the talent I have been given, with the work that it takes, and don’t be mistaken it takes tenacity and hard work to be effortless in whatever you do; I will lovingly share the music that is in my head & heart The music in my heart is love. I will make music my habit until it feels, no, until it is natural in all aspects of my life.
Pretty big resolve huh?
Agreed …Phooey! I wasn’t going to make any resolutions this year. MMMmmmm Paradox. Eh, don’t worry about it.
In a lesson, a maestro once had his group of students sit quietly and listen to a piano.
He then assigned one student to play all the white keys eventually they were played in a glissando (a glide from one pitch to another) from bottom to top, and top to bottom in succession and let them ring out. After this, he assigned another to play all the black keys in the same way. Next, he posed the question: What do you hear, what is the differences in the sound?
The white keys were nice, yet bland to my tastes. I’m not sure that vanilla is even a good description. Vanilla in the right amount is a luscious flavor. Especially good vanilla ice-cream in hot coffee. The flavors of the white keys are like a good boiled dinner without much spice. I love it but I don’t want a steady diet of it. It makes me ask, Please pass the salt and pepper? Do we have any Tapatio? or Siracha?
The black keys were spicy, some flavors were a little bitter, a little sour, and some have heat.
Mix these together in your own recipe and stir it up and cook it slowly. Cook it until all the juices, and spices meld and fats melt until is one glorious meal from start to finish and then thoroughly enjoy it.
. . . and for dessert, I’ll take chocolate; not just any chocolate rich dark, smooth luscious chocolate, vanilla and raspberry swirls with just a touch of salt & hot pepper.
Mmmmm life can taste better and better. Let’s eat it!
PS – You are alive but are you experienced?
So I decided to answer:
What’s on your mind?
Move in a little closer.
What do you hear?
Move up a little higher,
What do you see?
I promise you the air is much easier to breathe in this place.
God’s grace is sufficient for all who will look within and without, spirit housed in flesh.
Don’t worry about it.It’s all good, I AM Enjoying it more all the time.
lil’ gini ❤
Decipher the God Program
RALPH SMART – A man who is wide awake before breakfast !
Check out his book and internet channels !!
Ralph’s Youtube channel:
Infinite Waters (Diving Deep)
I very much enjoy pondering Ralph’s teachings
– He is an alchemist –
What if You Were
the Best Version of Yourself?
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Rejoice in the prosperity of others, wish them all good things, and you will grow wealthy yourself.
But you can give them to the birds and bees – I WANT MONEY!
Your loving gives me a thrill, But your loving don’t pay my bills – Now give me MONEY . . . Lord knows the Beatles made plenty of money for many people, and will continue to do so for years to come. I’m pretty sure that these men were just doing what they loved.
“The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.” Mark Twain
Do what you love and you’ll have plenty. I thought that I believed that. But today, just today, I realized I had it all
wrong ! WHAT? Yes, all wrong.I have faith, I give and work hard, but still, in my heart, I have a bad attitude toward money. I’ve been so wrong.
Money is a thing, money is not good or bad in and of itself.
Yes, this I know, or I thought I did. Things are neither good or bad, they just are. God has given us all things richly to enjoy. Covetousness, on the other hand, is not a thing it is an evil state of want. Remember, As you think and feel so are you. Greed and jealousy can and will only bring destruction.
“Surely vexation kills the fool, and jealousy slays the simple.” ~Job 5:2
I realized today while riding through town I grew up in. The town has tripled, I think. Where there used to be farmland and swamp I see all these brand new homes with manicured yards, sidewalks, nice cars, and I say aloud; Where did all this money come from? I was jealous, I was wrong to be jealous. I have been angry and felt cheated.
But you know what? That is a lie.
Yes, I’ve worked so hard and put so much effort into trying to make things happen that I ended up needing a triple bypass and having heart failure. All the striving, and envy, and work nearly killed me. So, I’ve decided to die, because I know in dying I will live. That is I lay down trying to earn God’s favor because I’ve had it all along and didn’t even realize it. That’s it, I give up!
The truth is, I have everything I need. It’s time to expand my borders because good and beautiful is coming my way in abundance, and in a hurry. Money, houses, cars, these “things” are just that, things. With the right attitude, I already have “it”, I have all I need. I’m going to start living like it. This world, the one we see with our eyes, touch with our skin/hands, smell, hear, taste, this is all temporal, it’s passing away. Even our bodies come to pass, but our Spirit that will never die. Yes, I have work to do, and a lot to learn, but now I’m looking at it from a whole new perspective, a completely different lens. I’ve never been afraid of hard work. I love to work. I have no one but myself to blame for my mistakes, wrong thinking or wrong choices and neither, do you, Do you?
The LORD says: Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.
I say: Come in LORD, you are welcome here all I have is yours, it has always been yours and always will be. Welcome home.
Today I change my thinking about money. Today, while it is called today I plant the seeds of plenty, wealth, and luxury. I am poised and ready to be blessed above and beyond all I could ask for or think of.
I L O V E M O N E Y ! I L O V E M O N E Y ! I L O V E M O N E Y !
I resolve to create a new life one little thing at a time, by grace and generosity and thankfulness. I resolve to pray and meditate, to think on things pure, virtuous, whatever is good. I resolve to Love, forgive, embrace life, to have fun, vibrancy, joy, patience, kindness, to be a blessing and help to those around me. As a matter of fact, I am asking for so much money that it is a pleasure to give 90% away and still live comfortably on the remaining 10%. I’m asking for health, wealth, and prosperity. I let go and I’m waiting to see what God will do.
And money? Well, I ask for more than enough money to give me a home near the lake or the park, with a pool and some place to swim. Enough for tile floors and high-quality counters, fixtures etc.. Enough to have my laundry sent out and delivered back to me clean, pressed and folded. Enough to have good quality utensils, tools, and cooking material. Enough to eat the best fresh fruits and veggies, to shop at the corner stand, the Farmers Market, and Whole Foods, and Trader Joes. . . To eat seafood twice a week. I want this for me, for my children, my family, and friends and all the others too.
Let’s go live the abundant life.
This is from the “Chicken Soup for the Soul guys” :
Yes, the law of attraction, yadda, yadda, yadda . . . ReThink it!BIG LOVE lil’ gini.
PS – a Tesla would be nice too.