Quit Yer Bitchin’ – Mental Diets 1.1


I was just standing quietly on the porch thinking when I decided to roam around the grounds making myself at home.  Having a conversation with myself, you know, thinking.

I was cogitating on the Oneness of the All in All, Above all, in all and through all. And how true it is that everyone you meet has the same breath, the same light that lights every man. When I came around the corner and saw a neighbor doing, far as I can tell,   the same thing.

We had the most lovely conversation, we laughed and laughed enjoying things we had in common. Made my day.  We said goodbye and I went up the stairs and stood for a few more minutes just noticing and being thankful.

That right there my friends, was a good glimpse of glory, and I appreciate it. I’d like to do that more and more.

While standing on the stairs I was moved by some train of thought that got me off track brought me down a little. The thinking that stopped me was Noticing how much people complain, and how much you and I complain. Complaints depreciate gratitude. Well, grace abounds and gratitude always appreciates. I don’t like depreciating or complaining. I’m going to give it my best to stop complaining inside and out. Starting while it’s still today.

People just love to complain, we are always seeking comfort while remaining uncomfortable with where we are. Tell me, please, how can we be comfortable, if we complain about being uncomfortable with where we are at? Just think about it.

Very sad.

Along with all that complaining comes the control issues:
Control issues?     I once had someone tell me not to breathe a certain way because they found it annoying. Like I was doing it on purpose to annoy them. I’ve been doing my best to imagine them content, and happy – for that is all I truly wish to be. Yet I fall short …
But, this is for another blog, another day.


As within – So without

Full responsibility !! – nothing outside yourself/myself is responsible for your world, for the “without” is a reflection of the “within”.  We choose our thoughts, our imaginations they are the seeds we plant in the garden of our minds and what we plant grows and blooms unless we weed it out.  We have the choice of controlling our thoughts and guiding them in love and kindness, gentleness, joyfulness, patience, peacefulness in all we know to be good in life, or we can let our imaginations run wild, thereby reflecting chaos, malice, strife, hatred, envy, division, murders, wars, destruction.

21 They can’t say, ‘Here it is!’ or ‘There it is!’ You see, the kingdom of God is within you.”

Now in all this I am still just a child, learning, growing,
Simple, but not necessarily easy it takes practice, patience, and faith most of all.

Freinds, I beg you, choose your thoughts wisely, choose the noble, choose love, choose life.

‘lil gini

Related Song for those who love poetry and song:


Paula Cole – ME
I am not the person who is singing,
I am the silent one inside.
I am not the one who laughs at people’s jokes,
I just pacify their egos.
I am not my house, my car or my songs,
They are only stops along my way.
I am like the winter, I’m a dark cold female,
With a golden ring of wisdom in my cave.

And it’s me who is my enemy
Me who beats me up
Me who makes the monsters
Me who strips my confidence

I am carrying my voice
I am carrying a heart.
I am carrying the rhythm
I am carrying my prayers, but you can kill my spirit, it’s old and it is strong,
And like a mountain, I’ll go on and on.
But when my wings are folded,
The brightly colored moth blends into the dirt into the ground

And it’s me who is my enemy.
Me who beats me up.
Me who makes the monsters.
Me who strips my confidence.
And it’s me who’s too weak,
And it’s me who’s too shy to ask for the thing I love.
And it’s me who’s too weak,
And it’s me who’s too shy to ask for the thing I love.
But I love

I am walking on the bridge,
I am over the water,
And I’m scared as hell
But I know there’s something better. Yes, I know there’s something better,
(Yes I know, yes I know, yes I know, yes I know)


An Open Letter

Soundtrack (listening to):

Lisa Lobe – Stay
A. Morrisette – Ironic
4 non-blondes – What’s up?
Nelly Furtado –  I’m Like a Bird

The following is an open letter and a personal letter to my loved ones, friends, both past present, and future.

There is so very much I would like to say that this could be a Tolstoy novel. You know, War and Peace?  I will try my best to condense what is currently in my heart.

Every person born into this world is filled with both good and evil, love and hate, right and wrong on the inside all who have reached the age of accountability are aware of this.

Blame never solves anything, oh, it may make us feel better for the moment but ultimately it doesn’t help anything. Forgiveness, and personal responsibility followed by choice, and action do make for change.  I know this, and I am doing my best to put it into practice.

Inside there is everything we need to be complete, yet on the outside, we can only work with what we have at hand and imagine for the better.

That being said, I am truly sorrowful today. I hate to be in and to see you in misery.  I am sorry. My heart and head hurt, because I hurt you, even if it was unintentional. I never want to hurt another. You are precious and I’d give you the world were it mine.

I would like you to understand that It is never my intention to hurt, insult, belittle or take advantage of you. I mean no harm. I do give all, I am open to you and here for you with all that is within me. What I can not do is choose for you.  Choice, even down to every thought we think is ours alone to make. My sky is torn today, my heart aches. I am truly sorry for your pain and anger. I care deeply. If I could give you only and all the goodness and graceful thoughts that exist I would certainly do so. With gladness, I would hold you in safe keeping for eternity.

How? tell me please, how do I show my appreciations for you allowing me to be a part of your life? How can I communicate to you that I love you? I care and will do anything for you, I  give to you all that I am without expecting anything in return if you would only ask (A. ask, S. seek, K. knock).  All you need to do is ask. I am grateful, though I may/can not know how to show it to you. It is up to you to show me how I can do that. All you need to do is ask.

If I complain about, take advantage of, or inconvenience you please forgive me.  I am still human and struggle with all of the same feelings and thoughts that every person alive on this earth does. I am doing the best I can given what I have at hand, whether or not anyone acknowledges it, or thinks otherwise. If it is your desire, I would go dirty, cold and hungry before I use you unjustly.  Believe that you may call on me anytime and with all I have and all I am I will comfort you, I will give all for you. I am dignified. I am humbled by you. I am all that I am and I would give all for you if you ask me to.

Need clarity of intention? Ask
Need money? Ask
Need companionship? Ask
Need wisdom? Ask
Need Truth? Need an ear, arm, shoulder?
Wake me up anytime, day or night and I will sit with you. I will not leave you alone unless; unless that is your desire.

All I have is yours if you will seek me out.  If I don’t have the thing, the wisdom or the answer you are looking for I will help in your search the best way I know how.

It is ALL up to you. Choose as you will.  Choose to be angry? you are allowed to be angry. Go for it. Choose to be disheartened, or wholehearted, choose hate, choose murder if you so desire, go ahead and cut me off, kill me. Although, I pray that you will choose life, and love, mercy and grace, peace and truth, but whatever your choice I will not condemn you and I will not abandon you, for you have had enough of that and you do enough of that for yourself.

I give myself to you. Everything I have is yours all you need to do is ask.

This ONE thing I ask of you. Please,  if you can find it in your heart forgive. Forgive me, forgive yourself, and know that I AM for you. I am not against you. If I could choose friendship, loyalty, laughter, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, understanding, riches, fame goodness, truth and every good thing for you I most certainly would, and do.
But those choices are not mine to make for you, I can not be responsible for your thoughts, feelings, or actions.Only you and I can make that choice.

Every waking moment, until the time we are taken from this earth we choose.

I am aware, I am here. You matter to me and I love you.

lil’ gini

PS- the impetus for this post was most disturbing, and painful for me personally, no buts about it, it’s all true.
PSS – I’m still searching for a good proofreader. Want to help?


Major Minor

Major Minor
In the music of life, there is major and minor. They are different yet equal. That is, one or the other is usually dominant. The major is in no way above the minor, though it may seem so at times. The minor is not below the major, although it may seem that way sometimes. The major and minor are mixed and mingled in dissonance and harmony.  You can not have one without the other and be rich with life’s journey. This is why I am studying, learning, and sharing Jazz music.
If you’ve read my blog you know that I have recently begun a love affair with music. I am taking a whole new approach to learning it. I want it all, I want that which is called music. Most especially Jazz.

Having said that, I always try to remember that the LORD (choose your own ism – I give up on isms) is my shepherd and I shall NOT WANT. Therefore, I am aware and I am a musician. If it takes me eternity I will,  with the talent I have been given, with the work that it takes, and don’t be mistaken it takes tenacity and hard work to be effortless in whatever you do; I will lovingly share the music that is in my head & heart The music in my heart is love. I will make music my habit until it feels, no, until it is natural in all aspects of my life.

Pretty big resolve huh?
Agreed …Phooey! I wasn’t going to make any resolutions this year.  MMMmmmm Paradox. 0e00272f9b21541b8ba4869b94f6cb9a Eh, don’t worry about it.

In a lesson, a maestro once had his group of students sit quietly and listen to a piano.
He then assigned one student to play all the white keys eventually they were played in a glissando (a glide from one pitch to another) from bottom to top, and top to bottom in succession and let them ring out. After this, he assigned another to play all the black keys in the same way.  Next, he posed the question: What do you hear, what is the differences in the sound?


The white keys were nice, yet bland to my tastes. I’m not sure that vanilla is even a good description. Vanilla in the right amount is a luscious flavor. Especially good vanilla ice-cream in hot coffee.  The flavors of the white keys are like a good boiled dinner without much spice. I love it but I don’t want a steady diet of it.  It makes me ask, Please pass the salt and pepper? Do we have any Tapatio? or Siracha?

The black keys were spicy, some flavors were a little bitter, a little sour, and some have heat.

Mix these together in your own recipe and stir it up and cook it slowly. Cook it until all the juices, and spices meld and fats melt until is one glorious meal from start to finish and then thorouchocolate_raspberry_mousse_cake_22671ghly enjoy it.

. . . and for dessert, I’ll take chocolate; not just any chocolate rich dark, smooth luscious chocolate, vanilla and raspberry swirls with just a touch of salt & hot pepper.

Mmmmm life can taste better and better. Let’s eat it!

lil’ gini

PS – You are alive but are you experienced?


Life is A Love Song

It’s up to me and you to make it happen, or is it up to you and me to enjoy as it is happening?

TOTO . . .https://youtu.be/FTQbiNvZqaYIt’s gonna take a lot to take me away from you

There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do

I bless the rains down in Africa

I bless the rains down in Africa

Gonna take some time to do the things we never had
Let’s take some time to do the things we never had!

Let’s take some time to do the things we never had!

You are my Conductor,  
You’re every instrument in the symphony that is me.
I am the dissonance and I am the harmony
I am notes of the melody, soft perfect harmony within.
You will find me in those shining spaces, and moments in between.
Listen very closely and Look within.
I am in you and you are in me, together we are complete.

I Am written on your heart, Love yourself, and your neighbor ! 

Old Testament- it’s written with the promise
“I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people.

New Testament – This promise is full filled in Jesus, and I am in him, you are in him and in me.

“This is the covenant I will make with them after that time, says the Lord. I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds.”


I Am within you and I Am without, for I Am all in all. Above all and through all and in you all.

My Prayer = Elohim = He that was and is and is to come:
Love is One :  Untie us 🙂 take away my double vision, and make my eye single that my whole body may be full of light.  Unite my dual nature that I may be complete in you.  

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
As within, so without,
As above, So below.
As in heaven so on earth
Salt and Light …and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. 17Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them, but to fulfill them. Matthew 5 !

– Psalm 110 –

Deep and Wide is This little light of mine 🙂

BIG LOVE lil gini