Quit Yer Bitchin’ – Mental Diets 1.1

Consciousness

I was just standing quietly on the porch thinking when I decided to roam around the grounds making myself at home.  Having a conversation with myself, you know, thinking.

I was cogitating on the Oneness of the All in All, Above all, in all and through all. And how true it is that everyone you meet has the same breath, the same light that lights every man. When I came around the corner and saw a neighbor doing, far as I can tell,   the same thing.

We had the most lovely conversation, we laughed and laughed enjoying things we had in common. Made my day.  We said goodbye and I went up the stairs and stood for a few more minutes just noticing and being thankful.

That right there my friends, was a good glimpse of glory, and I appreciate it. I’d like to do that more and more.

While standing on the stairs I was moved by some train of thought that got me off track brought me down a little. The thinking that stopped me was Noticing how much people complain, and how much you and I complain. Complaints depreciate gratitude. Well, grace abounds and gratitude always appreciates. I don’t like depreciating or complaining. I’m going to give it my best to stop complaining inside and out. Starting while it’s still today.

People just love to complain, we are always seeking comfort while remaining uncomfortable with where we are. Tell me, please, how can we be comfortable, if we complain about being uncomfortable with where we are at? Just think about it.

Very sad.

Along with all that complaining comes the control issues:
Control issues?     I once had someone tell me not to breathe a certain way because they found it annoying. Like I was doing it on purpose to annoy them. I’ve been doing my best to imagine them content, and happy – for that is all I truly wish to be. Yet I fall short …
But, this is for another blog, another day.

____________________________________

As within – So without

Full responsibility !! – nothing outside yourself/myself is responsible for your world, for the “without” is a reflection of the “within”.  We choose our thoughts, our imaginations they are the seeds we plant in the garden of our minds and what we plant grows and blooms unless we weed it out.  We have the choice of controlling our thoughts and guiding them in love and kindness, gentleness, joyfulness, patience, peacefulness in all we know to be good in life, or we can let our imaginations run wild, thereby reflecting chaos, malice, strife, hatred, envy, division, murders, wars, destruction.

http://biblehub.com/luke/17-21.htm
21 They can’t say, ‘Here it is!’ or ‘There it is!’ You see, the kingdom of God is within you.”

Now in all this I am still just a child, learning, growing,
Simple, but not necessarily easy it takes practice, patience, and faith most of all.

Freinds, I beg you, choose your thoughts wisely, choose the noble, choose love, choose life.

BIG LOVE
‘lil gini

____________________________________________________
Related Song for those who love poetry and song:

https://youtu.be/fs0g6yL6kDc

Paula Cole – ME
“Me”
I am not the person who is singing,
I am the silent one inside.
I am not the one who laughs at people’s jokes,
I just pacify their egos.
I am not my house, my car or my songs,
They are only stops along my way.
I am like the winter, I’m a dark cold female,
With a golden ring of wisdom in my cave.

And it’s me who is my enemy
Me who beats me up
Me who makes the monsters
Me who strips my confidence

I am carrying my voice
I am carrying a heart.
I am carrying the rhythm
I am carrying my prayers, but you can kill my spirit, it’s old and it is strong,
And like a mountain, I’ll go on and on.
But when my wings are folded,
The brightly colored moth blends into the dirt into the ground

And it’s me who is my enemy.
Me who beats me up.
Me who makes the monsters.
Me who strips my confidence.
And it’s me who’s too weak,
And it’s me who’s too shy to ask for the thing I love.
And it’s me who’s too weak,
And it’s me who’s too shy to ask for the thing I love.
But I love

I am walking on the bridge,
I am over the water,
And I’m scared as hell
But I know there’s something better. Yes, I know there’s something better,
(Yes I know, yes I know, yes I know, yes I know)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Me_(Paula_Cole_song)

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Lessons from Mom

My mother was a very intelligent, hard working, fun loving and wise woman.
She was not a religious person, she didn’t have a Phd., in Philosophy, or medicine. But I can tell you of a truth she was authentic and the words of wisdom she shared keep me going on many a trying occasion.

sunrise-over-the-earth

When I was a child, I was afraid of the darkness and to this day I prefer to remain in light.  I can say with conviction that I am no longer afraid to sit in the dark. And now I realize what mom said to me as a child was so very true.

With great conviction, and in that tone that gets your full attention, she would say,
“Virginia!, there is nothing in the darkness that is not there in the light. It is just that you can not see it (until the light shines).”

Truth is authenticity on every level, it is light. Let your light so shine before men . . .

God is One.  Live in love.

BIG LOVE
lil’ gini.

Josh D’Amore’

Stay awake because things are about to change, again.

__________________________

Today . . .

TODAY I call him Josh D’Amore’

He is my everything. In him I am complete, he takes me as I am. I need not change a single quark.   I in him and he in me, it’s a perfect kind of love.

romantic hotel room ideas for him

From the moment we met, I was dumbfounded. I couldn’t speak two intelligent words if my life depended on it. Which, by the way, it probably does. At any rate, I am bewitched, bothered, and bewildered, all the very things those old loves songs talk about, Beguiled, even. I was thrown off course while seeking my own way, trying to make things happen when he showed up. Now I am raptured, lifted to new heights in the glory that surrounds us, and it happened in the blink of an eye.

I mean, I’ve made love before but NEVER like this. His eyes say I am all encompassing pleasure, peace, and joy. In Him I know I can explore until I find the answers to my every secret desire. In him there is no condemnation, I am free, free to ask any question, and free to be anything I desire. I look him in the eye and his gaze utterly destroys me. I could not be more vulnerable and at the same time feel so safe. I trust in him. I have been brought low, low as I can bear go and now, today it seems I am on the rise.

Then, in walked doubt!!

So I ask him, am I your whore? or am I your wife?

He asks (and so do I),  Is there a difference?

Does it matter the masks that we wear? What roles we play?

Which lasts longer, a marriage by the law, or a marriage of grace and mercy?

A marriage of the spirit?

Whichever you choose, that I am and that I remain until you choose to change it.

We need not tell another soul if that is our agreed upon desired.

When they ask all we need say is love provides, keep love alive. Until the time comes when we declare our love together I will remain yours in the secret place saved for we two, alone.

My fellow mankind I beg of you: Until time ends and we are full keep feeding the better angels of our nature. Keep love in mind and raise your brother up, think better of one another.

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Here’s a good riddle:

Who Am I ?

How I love you!

Words fail to explain.

How I adore you!

Where actions speak.

Wear me like regal garb,

and give me a noble life.

I am the only one who is truly yours.

I belong to you, you decide who am I?

I was with you at the beginning

I am with you in the end

I  see through your eyes

I  hear your voice, you have only one voice

I gave it to you.

I will to love you in the evening

I will to love you in the morning, and I will to love you

in the night. Past, present, and future.

I am even now giving you my pledge to be faithful while remaining enraptured by the pleasure of your company.  Yes, it’s true,

For a moment I closed my eyes, for a moment I slept. Just now, just today, I awoke, and I said:  Today is the day I am with you, and for eternity we remain together. Time is no object, there is no object.

Objects:  lie or lay. I say both!

…And now abides, faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love (That’s Bible folks. ).

It is finished, Choices and opinions remain ever expanding.

May we always choose to abide in love (1 Corinthians 13).

What part of you can not be lost?

Who do you say I am?

(my personal answer is one word. If you would like to know that word, just ask. )

BIG LOVE

lil’ gini

_______________

PS –

Don’t worry my next glimpse is a little more … blue? racey? mmm, yeah, blue is good.

look for:  Your love is like __________

and other silly metaphors for love, lust, and fun.

OH and Happy Valentine’s day everyone. If you observe days like that. BIG LOVE

 

 

Josh D’Amore’

Stay awake because things are about to change, again.

__________________________

Today . . .

TODAY I call him Josh D’Amore’

He is my everything. In him I am complete, he takes me as I am. I need not change a single quark.   I in him and he in me, it’s a perfect kind of love.

romantic hotel room ideas for him

From the moment we met, I was dumbfounded. I couldn’t speak two intelligent words if my life depended on it. Which, by the way, it probably does. At any rate, I am bewitched, bothered, and bewildered, all the very things those old loves songs talk about, Beguiled, even. I was thrown off course while seeking my own way, trying to make things happen when he showed up. Now I am raptured, lifted to new heights in the glory that surrounds us, and it happened in the blink of an eye.

I mean, I’ve made love before but NEVER like this. His eyes say I am all encompassing pleasure, peace, and joy. In Him I know I can explore until I find the answers to my every secret desire. In him there is no condemnation, I am free, free to ask any question, and free to be anything I desire. I look him in the eye and his gaze utterly destroys me. I could not be more vulnerable and at the same time feel so safe. I trust in him. I have been brought low, low as I can bear go and now, today it seems I am on the rise.

Then, in walked doubt!!

So I ask him, am I your whore? or am I your wife?

He asks (and so do I),  Is there a difference?

Does it matter the masks that we wear? What roles we play?
Which lasts longer, a marriage by the law, or a marriage of grace and mercy?
A marriage of the spirit?

Whichever you choose, that I am and that I remain until you choose to change it.

We need not tell another soul if that is our agreed upon desired.
When they ask all we need say is love provides, keep love alive. Until the time comes when we declare our love together I will remain yours in the secret place saved for we two, alone.

My fellow mankind I beg of you: Until time ends and we are full keep feeding the better angels of our nature. Keep love in mind and raise your brother up, think better of one another.
web-page-separator
Here’s a good riddle:

Who Am I ?

How I love you!
Words fail to explain.
How I adore you!
Where actions speak.
Wear me like regal garb,
and give me a noble life.
I am the only one who is truly yours.
I belong to you, you decide who am I?

I was with you at the beginning
I am with you in the end
I  see through your eyes
I  hear your voice, you have only one voice
I gave it to you.
I will to love you in the evening
I will to love you in the morning, and I will to love you
in the night. Past, present, and future.
I am even now giving you my pledge to be faithful while remaining enraptured by the pleasure of your company.  Yes, it’s true,
For a moment I closed my eyes, for a moment I slept. Just now, just today, I awoke, and I said:  Today is the day I am with you, and for eternity we remain together. Time is no object, there is no object.

Objects:  lie or lay. I say both!

…And now abides, faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love (That’s Bible folks. ).

It is finished, Choices and opinions remain ever expanding.
May we always choose to abide in love (1 Corinthians 13).

What part of you can not be lost?
Who do you say I am?

(my personal answer is one word. If you would like to know that word, just ask. )

BIG LOVE
lil’ gini

_______________

PS –
Don’t worry my next glimpse is a little more … blue? racey? mmm, yeah, blue is good.
look for:  Your love is like __________
and other silly metaphors for love, lust, and fun.

OH and Happy Valentine’s day everyone. If you observe days like that. BIG LOVE

 

 

An Open Letter

Soundtrack (listening to):

Lisa Lobe – Stay
A. Morrisette – Ironic
4 non-blondes – What’s up?
Criminal
Nelly Furtado –  I’m Like a Bird

The following is an open letter and a personal letter to my loved ones, friends, both past present, and future.

There is so very much I would like to say that this could be a Tolstoy novel. You know, War and Peace?  I will try my best to condense what is currently in my heart.

Every person born into this world is filled with both good and evil, love and hate, right and wrong on the inside all who have reached the age of accountability are aware of this.

Blame never solves anything, oh, it may make us feel better for the moment but ultimately it doesn’t help anything. Forgiveness, and personal responsibility followed by choice, and action do make for change.  I know this, and I am doing my best to put it into practice.

Inside there is everything we need to be complete, yet on the outside, we can only work with what we have at hand and imagine for the better.

That being said, I am truly sorrowful today. I hate to be in and to see you in misery.  I am sorry. My heart and head hurt, because I hurt you, even if it was unintentional. I never want to hurt another. You are precious and I’d give you the world were it mine.

I would like you to understand that It is never my intention to hurt, insult, belittle or take advantage of you. I mean no harm. I do give all, I am open to you and here for you with all that is within me. What I can not do is choose for you.  Choice, even down to every thought we think is ours alone to make. My sky is torn today, my heart aches. I am truly sorry for your pain and anger. I care deeply. If I could give you only and all the goodness and graceful thoughts that exist I would certainly do so. With gladness, I would hold you in safe keeping for eternity.

How? tell me please, how do I show my appreciations for you allowing me to be a part of your life? How can I communicate to you that I love you? I care and will do anything for you, I  give to you all that I am without expecting anything in return if you would only ask (A. ask, S. seek, K. knock).  All you need to do is ask. I am grateful, though I may/can not know how to show it to you. It is up to you to show me how I can do that. All you need to do is ask.

If I complain about, take advantage of, or inconvenience you please forgive me.  I am still human and struggle with all of the same feelings and thoughts that every person alive on this earth does. I am doing the best I can given what I have at hand, whether or not anyone acknowledges it, or thinks otherwise. If it is your desire, I would go dirty, cold and hungry before I use you unjustly.  Believe that you may call on me anytime and with all I have and all I am I will comfort you, I will give all for you. I am dignified. I am humbled by you. I am all that I am and I would give all for you if you ask me to.

Need clarity of intention? Ask
Need money? Ask
Need companionship? Ask
Need wisdom? Ask
Need Truth? Need an ear, arm, shoulder?
Wake me up anytime, day or night and I will sit with you. I will not leave you alone unless; unless that is your desire.

All I have is yours if you will seek me out.  If I don’t have the thing, the wisdom or the answer you are looking for I will help in your search the best way I know how.

It is ALL up to you. Choose as you will.  Choose to be angry? you are allowed to be angry. Go for it. Choose to be disheartened, or wholehearted, choose hate, choose murder if you so desire, go ahead and cut me off, kill me. Although, I pray that you will choose life, and love, mercy and grace, peace and truth, but whatever your choice I will not condemn you and I will not abandon you, for you have had enough of that and you do enough of that for yourself.

I give myself to you. Everything I have is yours all you need to do is ask.

This ONE thing I ask of you. Please,  if you can find it in your heart forgive. Forgive me, forgive yourself, and know that I AM for you. I am not against you. If I could choose friendship, loyalty, laughter, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, understanding, riches, fame goodness, truth and every good thing for you I most certainly would, and do.
But those choices are not mine to make for you, I can not be responsible for your thoughts, feelings, or actions.Only you and I can make that choice.

Every waking moment, until the time we are taken from this earth we choose.

I am aware, I am here. You matter to me and I love you.

BIG LOVE
lil’ gini

PS- the impetus for this post was most disturbing, and painful for me personally, no buts about it, it’s all true.
PSS – I’m still searching for a good proofreader. Want to help?

 

Major Minor

Major Minor
In the music of life, there is major and minor. They are different yet equal. That is, one or the other is usually dominant. The major is in no way above the minor, though it may seem so at times. The minor is not below the major, although it may seem that way sometimes. The major and minor are mixed and mingled in dissonance and harmony.  You can not have one without the other and be rich with life’s journey. This is why I am studying, learning, and sharing Jazz music.
3ee827d996bebbba779bc409e6e7bbe1
THE MUSIC
If you’ve read my blog you know that I have recently begun a love affair with music. I am taking a whole new approach to learning it. I want it all, I want that which is called music. Most especially Jazz.

Having said that, I always try to remember that the LORD (choose your own ism – I give up on isms) is my shepherd and I shall NOT WANT. Therefore, I am aware and I am a musician. If it takes me eternity I will,  with the talent I have been given, with the work that it takes, and don’t be mistaken it takes tenacity and hard work to be effortless in whatever you do; I will lovingly share the music that is in my head & heart The music in my heart is love. I will make music my habit until it feels, no, until it is natural in all aspects of my life.

Pretty big resolve huh?
Agreed …Phooey! I wasn’t going to make any resolutions this year.  MMMmmmm Paradox. 0e00272f9b21541b8ba4869b94f6cb9a Eh, don’t worry about it.
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In a lesson, a maestro once had his group of students sit quietly and listen to a piano.
He then assigned one student to play all the white keys eventually they were played in a glissando (a glide from one pitch to another) from bottom to top, and top to bottom in succession and let them ring out. After this, he assigned another to play all the black keys in the same way.  Next, he posed the question: What do you hear, what is the differences in the sound?

white-piano-1401892773-view-2
BRILLIANT 

THE FLAVOR
The white keys were nice, yet bland to my tastes. I’m not sure that vanilla is even a good description. Vanilla in the right amount is a luscious flavor. Especially good vanilla ice-cream in hot coffee.  The flavors of the white keys are like a good boiled dinner without much spice. I love it but I don’t want a steady diet of it.  It makes me ask, Please pass the salt and pepper? Do we have any Tapatio? or Siracha?

The black keys were spicy, some flavors were a little bitter, a little sour, and some have heat.

Mix these together in your own recipe and stir it up and cook it slowly. Cook it until all the juices, and spices meld and fats melt until is one glorious meal from start to finish and then thorouchocolate_raspberry_mousse_cake_22671ghly enjoy it.

. . . and for dessert, I’ll take chocolate; not just any chocolate rich dark, smooth luscious chocolate, vanilla and raspberry swirls with just a touch of salt & hot pepper.

Mmmmm life can taste better and better. Let’s eat it!

BIG LOVE
lil’ gini

PS – You are alive but are you experienced?

 

What’s on your mind?

Facebook is always asking . . .
So I decided to answer:

What’s on your mind?

Who me?
What’s on my mind? I’m just gonna share it –
 
My mind is on my mind, a lot. I mean I’m thinking about what I’m thinking about, AND, and if I find that I’m not, then I remind myself to WAKE UP !! and intentionally pay attention , examining, ordering, and choosing my thoughts very carefully. It’s like freaking brain surgery only you’re not sure if you are under the influence or wide awake. It’s like quantum physics type stuff, really freakin’ hard. I can’t even remember how to multiply fractions and I’m trying to attempt to crawl inside my own skull and ReKnew, Everything I Thought I knew??? .
 
(ReKnew is a fantastic blog BTW, if you want to check it out, it has my heart. – http://www.reknew.org ).
 
I have to tell you it is NOT EASY, it is a lot of hard work. I mean, it’s like freaking warfare it’s so difficult. All this thinking … like training for an amazing Gladiator battle. I need my shield, all my armor, my helmet, swift feet and a sharp two-edged sword !! Until I remember that the battle is not mine and can breathe again and search for the flow. I remember to be like water (there’s a post or two coming on that concept 🙂 ). 
 
So here is the way I figure it:
I am mind, I am heart and soul, strength, and mind. I am thought that inspires you. In you breathe, and out your breath goes, it goes on and on. Have you taken any time notice lately?
I am that which makes your fingernails grow. Creator, in creation, I am that which allows the wind to blow where it will, and you cannot tell where it comes or where it goes. I am the very force that makes and keeps your heart beating, your lungs breathing in and out, filling your blood with love like oxygen (hey, I’m a child of the 70/80’s, cut me some slack, will ya !! ) – I am that, life. The rest is up to you. Choose which you will serve, evil or good, life or death.
 
You already know my name, you use it all day long.
 
Resistance is futile for I will and do as I please, it’s all of me, by me, and for me. Resistance is futile for I am as you are and we shall ever be, together as one. I am has sent me, I say STOP! Do not fear for I am with you, Be STILL  and KNOW.   be still and know….
…get quiet,
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Move in a little closer.
What do you hear?

Move up a little higher,
What do you see?
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I promise you the air is much easier to breathe in this place.
God’s grace is sufficient for all who will look within and without, spirit housed in flesh.

 
HEY MAN !!! You asked for it. Remember ???
All my love, ~gini.
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PS-Hey…. is that megalomaniacish?

Don’t worry about it. It’s all good, I AM Enjoying it more all the time.
BIG LOVE,
BIG LIFE,
lil’ gini ❤