In Your Thoughts

Guilty Pleasure confession number 1:

I love to be alone, get stoned, and just cogitate, and write, and dream, the best days are when I can dream and let it all go . . .

Instructions for proceeding if you choose to engage in them: Take a few deep breaths, relax, let go, melt and say to yourself I have all the time in the world (so long as I am not overbooked, ha, ha, ha) repeat until you are ready for a bible reference!  Ready? Go!

The book of Ecclesiaties Chapter 10 verse 20

” Do not curse a king even in your thoughts, and do not curse the rich while in your bedroom; for a bird might report what you are thinking, or some winged creature might repeat your words. “

http://biblehub.com/ecclesiastes/10-20.htm

In other words, and the simplest of terms, mind your thoughts.

Think about what you are thinking about.

But you knew that.

 

ENVY and STRIFE
Even us “po-folks” can be guilty of jealousy or being miserly, and envious. Guilty of assumption, that is. It’s pretty easy to envy the “rich”. I know I have many times. It never helped my situation, not once.  In fact, it only made me more miserable, in turn, all could see around me was misery. Now, I don’t know about you but, me, I do not want to feel that anymore.  THAT”S IT !! I’m refusing misery.

I resolve to recognize when I begin down a path of misery and complaining in my self-talk, my inward thoughts and when I do, I will Stop, forgive, think again and choose grace, and gratefulness instead. YEAH ! No more bitterness, or envy.

I choose to be, happy and contented with what I have, and yet, ever able to expand, grow and improve.

I choose to live now, I choose life on the inside first.

Signs follow depending upon your attitude:

 

It’s a good day!

Guilty Pleasure confession number 1:
I love to be alone, get stoned, and just cogitate, mull things over and write, and dream, the best days are when I can dream and let it all go . . . and write what is in my heart.
Who said that? HAF

BIG LOVE 

lil’ gini

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A choice . . .

Today’s Glimpse of Glory :

Once upon a time, a co-worker, his name is Wayne, accused me of being too happy.
He said to me: How do you stay so happy all the time? and No one can be that happy.

I don’t recall what my answer was then. But today is a new day, the present day, and my gift for today was when  I realized this: Sure no one is happy all the time, but for the most part, I am contented, my needs are met and so I am happy. Nothing wrong with that, nothing wrong with me.  Come to think of it, that is how I stay happy by being grateful for what I do have and not always living in want. Sure not 24/7, but most of the time. I work at it too, I work at it a lot. Happiness doesn’t necessarily come naturally. It’s an attitude that must be maintained.

Don’t Worry Be Happy !

HAPPY:
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/happy

Synonyms

See more synonyms on Thesaurus.com

1. joyous, joyful, blithe, cheerful, merry, contented, blissful, satisfied. 3. favorable, propitious; successful, prosperous. 4. appropriate, fitting, opportune, pertinent.

I was happy, I am happy, and I will be happy.  I Am Happy. I am happier today than I have been since I was a child.

What a relief!

I am happy and truthfully, I’ve always been happy, I just had amnesia for a while, I forgot to just be who I am, and part of, a big part of who I am is happy.

 I am happy and today add to happiness with valor in the battle to bring down all the circumstances and thoughts that would try to tell me otherwise. I exercise my right to live happy in my strange and wonderful world.

I think that when all we want for ourselves, that is, our children, friends, relatives, our neighbors is to live in peace and be happy then the world is a much better place to be. 

Today, my answer to Wayne:  I act happy because I am happy
(except when I’m not ….lol)!

Be governed by love and wisdom.

My wisdom:  Take some time today to do something fun, and if you can’t find the time, then take it, take something you are already doing and infuse it with happy, enjoy some fun!

BIG LOVE
lil’ gini

Just for fun, some links to definitions of happy:  ps- https://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/happy
pps – http://biblehub.com/greek/3107.htm

Just for fun 🙂

An adorable impression . . .

(Warning:) Author is having a wonderful mad hatter day behind the looking glass
Proceed at your own risk ! 

A Change of Impression Results
in a Change of Expression

A change of impression results in a change of expression.

Made any impressions on your clay today?

I have, and He’s *insert sigh here* magnificent, just a beautiful dream. 

OH! Don’t forget to remember YOU!
You are so adorable 🙂
I’m going to require a little space and time for sorting those impressions out.

 

I would that all our impressions, even the make believe ones,  are good ones.

God is One .    .     .    

 

BIG LOVE

lil’ gini

 

.... I'm sorry, you wanted what? context. . . ?  
Psssssst!!!  it's a secret. But and if you are listening? 

PSS- It's not supposed to make any sense so, don't worry about it all y'all.

Josh D’Amore’

Stay awake because things are about to change, again.

__________________________

Today . . .

TODAY I call him Josh D’Amore’

He is my everything. In him I am complete, he takes me as I am. I need not change a single quark.   I in him and he in me, it’s a perfect kind of love.

From the moment we met, I was dumbfounded. I couldn’t speak two intelligent words if my life depended on it. Which, by the way, it probably does. At any rate, I am bewitched, bothered, and bewildered, all the very things those old loves songs talk about, Beguiled, even. I was thrown off course while seeking my own way, trying to make things happen when he showed up. Now I am raptured, lifted to new heights in the glory that surrounds us, and it happened in the blink of an eye.

I mean, I’ve made love before but NEVER like this. His eyes say I am all encompassing pleasure, peace, and joy. In Him I know I can explore until I find the answers to my every secret desire. In him there is no condemnation, I am free, free to ask any question, and free to be anything I desire. I look him in the eye and his gaze utterly destroys me. I could not be more vulnerable and at the same time feel so safe. I trust in him. I have been brought low, low as I can bear go and now, today it seems I am on the rise.

Then, in walked doubt!!

So I ask him, am I your whore? or am I your wife?

He asks (and so do I),  Is there a difference?

Does it matter the masks that we wear? What roles we play?

Which lasts longer, a marriage by the law, or a marriage of grace and mercy?

A marriage of the spirit?

Whichever you choose, that I am and that I remain until you choose to change it.

We need not tell another soul if that is our agreed upon desired.

When they ask all we need say is love provides, keep love alive. Until the time comes when we declare our love together I will remain yours in the secret place saved for we two, alone.

My fellow mankind I beg of you: Until time ends and we are full keep feeding the better angels of our nature. Keep love in mind and raise your brother up, think better of one another.

Here’s a good riddle:

Who Am I ?

How I love you!

Words fail to explain.

How I adore you!

Where actions speak.

Wear me like regal garb,

and give me a noble life.

I am the only one who is truly yours.

I belong to you, you decide who am I?

I was with you at the beginning

I am with you in the end

I  see through your eyes

I  hear your voice, you have only one voice

I gave it to you.

I will to love you in the evening

I will to love you in the morning, and I will to love you

in the night. Past, present, and future.

I am even now giving you my pledge to be faithful while remaining enraptured by the pleasure of your company.  Yes, it’s true,

For a moment I closed my eyes, for a moment I slept. Just now, just today, I awoke, and I said:  Today is the day I am with you, and for eternity we remain together. Time is no object, there is no object.

Objects:  lie or lay. I say both!

…And now abides, faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love (That’s Bible folks. ).

It is finished, Choices and opinions remain ever expanding.

May we always choose to abide in love (1 Corinthians 13).

What part of you can not be lost?

Who do you say I am?

(my personal answer is one word. If you would like to know that word, just ask. )

BIG LOVE

lil’ gini

_______________

PS –

Don’t worry my next glimpse is a little more … blue? racey? mmm, yeah, blue is good.

look for:  Your love is like __________

and other silly metaphors for love, lust, and fun.

OH and Happy Valentine’s day everyone. If you observe days like that. BIG LOVE

 

 

Josh D’Amore’

Stay awake because things are about to change, again.

__________________________

Today . . .

TODAY I call him Josh D’Amore’

He is my everything. In him I am complete, he takes me as I am. I need not change a single quark.   I in him and he in me, it’s a perfect kind of love.

From the moment we met, I was dumbfounded. I couldn’t speak two intelligent words if my life depended on it. Which, by the way, it probably does. At any rate, I am bewitched, bothered, and bewildered, all the very things those old loves songs talk about, Beguiled, even. I was thrown off course while seeking my own way, trying to make things happen when he showed up. Now I am raptured, lifted to new heights in the glory that surrounds us, and it happened in the blink of an eye.

I mean, I’ve made love before but NEVER like this. His eyes say I am all encompassing pleasure, peace, and joy. In Him I know I can explore until I find the answers to my every secret desire. In him there is no condemnation, I am free, free to ask any question, and free to be anything I desire. I look him in the eye and his gaze utterly destroys me. I could not be more vulnerable and at the same time feel so safe. I trust in him. I have been brought low, low as I can bear go and now, today it seems I am on the rise.

Then, in walked doubt!!

So I ask him, am I your whore? or am I your wife?

He asks (and so do I),  Is there a difference?

Does it matter the masks that we wear? What roles we play?
Which lasts longer, a marriage by the law, or a marriage of grace and mercy?
A marriage of the spirit?

Whichever you choose, that I am and that I remain until you choose to change it.

We need not tell another soul if that is our agreed upon desired.
When they ask all we need say is love provides, keep love alive. Until the time comes when we declare our love together I will remain yours in the secret place saved for we two, alone.

My fellow mankind I beg of you: Until time ends and we are full keep feeding the better angels of our nature. Keep love in mind and raise your brother up, think better of one another.

Here’s a good riddle:

Who Am I ?

How I love you!
Words fail to explain.
How I adore you!
Where actions speak.
Wear me like regal garb,
and give me a noble life.
I am the only one who is truly yours.
I belong to you, you decide who am I?

I was with you at the beginning
I am with you in the end
I  see through your eyes
I  hear your voice, you have only one voice
I gave it to you.
I will to love you in the evening
I will to love you in the morning, and I will to love you
in the night. Past, present, and future.
I am even now giving you my pledge to be faithful while remaining enraptured by the pleasure of your company.  Yes, it’s true,
For a moment I closed my eyes, for a moment I slept. Just now, just today, I awoke, and I said:  Today is the day I am with you, and for eternity we remain together. Time is no object, there is no object.

Objects:  lie or lay. I say both!

…And now abides, faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love (That’s Bible folks. ).

It is finished, Choices and opinions remain ever expanding.
May we always choose to abide in love (1 Corinthians 13).

What part of you can not be lost?
Who do you say I am?

(my personal answer is one word. If you would like to know that word, just ask. )

BIG LOVE
lil’ gini

_______________

PS –
Don’t worry my next glimpse is a little more … blue? racey? mmm, yeah, blue is good.
look for:  Your love is like __________
and other silly metaphors for love, lust, and fun.

OH and Happy Valentine’s day everyone. If you observe days like that. BIG LOVE

 

 

An Open Letter

Soundtrack (listening to):

Lisa Lobe – Stay
A. Morrisette – Ironic
4 non-blondes – What’s up?
Criminal
Nelly Furtado –  I’m Like a Bird

The following is an open letter and a personal letter to my loved ones, friends, both past present, and future.

There is so very much I would like to say that this could be a Tolstoy novel. You know, War and Peace?  I will try my best to condense what is currently in my heart.

Every person born into this world is filled with both good and evil, love and hate, right and wrong on the inside all who have reached the age of accountability are aware of this.

Blame never solves anything, oh, it may make us feel better for the moment but ultimately it doesn’t help anything. Forgiveness, and personal responsibility followed by choice, and action do make for change.  I know this, and I am doing my best to put it into practice.

Inside there is everything we need to be complete, yet on the outside, we can only work with what we have at hand and imagine for the better.

That being said, I am truly sorrowful today. I hate to be in and to see you in misery.  I am sorry. My heart and head hurt, because I hurt you, even if it was unintentional. I never want to hurt another. You are precious and I’d give you the world were it mine.

I would like you to understand that It is never my intention to hurt, insult, belittle or take advantage of you. I mean no harm. I do give all, I am open to you and here for you with all that is within me. What I can not do is choose for you.  Choice, even down to every thought we think is ours alone to make. My sky is torn today, my heart aches. I am truly sorry for your pain and anger. I care deeply. If I could give you only and all the goodness and graceful thoughts that exist I would certainly do so. With gladness, I would hold you in safe keeping for eternity.

How? tell me please, how do I show my appreciations for you allowing me to be a part of your life? How can I communicate to you that I love you? I care and will do anything for you, I  give to you all that I am without expecting anything in return if you would only ask (A. ask, S. seek, K. knock).  All you need to do is ask. I am grateful, though I may/can not know how to show it to you. It is up to you to show me how I can do that. All you need to do is ask.

If I complain about, take advantage of, or inconvenience you please forgive me.  I am still human and struggle with all of the same feelings and thoughts that every person alive on this earth does. I am doing the best I can given what I have at hand, whether or not anyone acknowledges it, or thinks otherwise. If it is your desire, I would go dirty, cold and hungry before I use you unjustly.  Believe that you may call on me anytime and with all I have and all I am I will comfort you, I will give all for you. I am dignified. I am humbled by you. I am all that I am and I would give all for you if you ask me to.

Need clarity of intention? Ask
Need money? Ask
Need companionship? Ask
Need wisdom? Ask
Need Truth? Need an ear, arm, shoulder?
Wake me up anytime, day or night and I will sit with you. I will not leave you alone unless; unless that is your desire.

All I have is yours if you will seek me out.  If I don’t have the thing, the wisdom or the answer you are looking for I will help in your search the best way I know how.

It is ALL up to you. Choose as you will.  Choose to be angry? you are allowed to be angry. Go for it. Choose to be disheartened, or wholehearted, choose hate, choose murder if you so desire, go ahead and cut me off, kill me. Although, I pray that you will choose life, and love, mercy and grace, peace and truth, but whatever your choice I will not condemn you and I will not abandon you, for you have had enough of that and you do enough of that for yourself.

I give myself to you. Everything I have is yours all you need to do is ask.

This ONE thing I ask of you. Please,  if you can find it in your heart forgive. Forgive me, forgive yourself, and know that I AM for you. I am not against you. If I could choose friendship, loyalty, laughter, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, understanding, riches, fame goodness, truth and every good thing for you I most certainly would, and do.
But those choices are not mine to make for you, I can not be responsible for your thoughts, feelings, or actions.Only you and I can make that choice.

Every waking moment, until the time we are taken from this earth we choose.

I am aware, I am here. You matter to me and I love you.

BIG LOVE
lil’ gini

PS- the impetus for this post was most disturbing, and painful for me personally, no buts about it, it’s all true.
PSS – I’m still searching for a good proofreader. Want to help?

 

Major Minor

Major Minor
In the music of life, there is major and minor. They are different yet equal. That is, one or the other is usually dominant. The major is in no way above the minor, though it may seem so at times. The minor is not below the major, although it may seem that way sometimes. The major and minor are mixed and mingled in dissonance and harmony.  You can not have one without the other and be rich with life’s journey. This is why I am studying, learning, and sharing Jazz music.

THE MUSIC
If you’ve read my blog you know that I have recently begun a love affair with music. I am taking a whole new approach to learning it. I want it all, I want that which is called music. Most especially Jazz.

Having said that, I always try to remember that the LORD (choose your own ism – I give up on isms) is my shepherd and I shall NOT WANT. Therefore, I am aware and I am a musician. If it takes me eternity I will,  with the talent I have been given, with the work that it takes, and don’t be mistaken it takes tenacity and hard work to be effortless in whatever you do; I will lovingly share the music that is in my head & heart The music in my heart is love. I will make music my habit until it feels, no, until it is natural in all aspects of my life.

Pretty big resolve huh?
Agreed …Phooey! I wasn’t going to make any resolutions this year.  MMMmmmm Paradox.  Eh, don’t worry about it.

In a lesson, a maestro once had his group of students sit quietly and listen to a piano.
He then assigned one student to play all the white keys eventually they were played in a glissando (a glide from one pitch to another) from bottom to top, and top to bottom in succession and let them ring out. After this, he assigned another to play all the black keys in the same way.  Next, he posed the question: What do you hear, what is the differences in the sound?

BRILLIANT 

THE FLAVOR
The white keys were nice, yet bland to my tastes. I’m not sure that vanilla is even a good description. Vanilla in the right amount is a luscious flavor. Especially good vanilla ice-cream in hot coffee.  The flavors of the white keys are like a good boiled dinner without much spice. I love it but I don’t want a steady diet of it.  It makes me ask, Please pass the salt and pepper? Do we have any Tapatio? or Siracha?

The black keys were spicy, some flavors were a little bitter, a little sour, and some have heat.

Mix these together in your own recipe and stir it up and cook it slowly. Cook it until all the juices, and spices meld and fats melt until is one glorious meal from start to finish and then thoroughly enjoy it.

. . . and for dessert, I’ll take chocolate; not just any chocolate rich dark, smooth luscious chocolate, vanilla and raspberry swirls with just a touch of salt & hot pepper.

Mmmmm life can taste better and better. Let’s eat it!

BIG LOVE
lil’ gini

PS – You are alive but are you experienced?